MTSU, the life changer

Dandelion Sunset over MTSU (Taken by Tressa :)

April 22nd 2015: 

I am about 15 days from graduation.15 days. This number represents how many days I thought this would never happen to me. Graduation with my bachelors degree is something I only felt like I could dream about and that it was a mirage that only appeared when my brain was taking half risks. It has been nine years since I graduated high school. 9 years of a journey I will never forget. Moving from my home town, saving up pennies on a dream to Tennessee and when I got here there were much more lessons to learn then just how to say Ya'll at the right time in a conversation. No, the real lesson came when I had to start over again. MTSU, 25 years old, everyone felt like a baby and here I was starting my TN over again. These last two years I have learned more about what love means then ever. I have felt like there have been things I like more then love, but never this love that I have found to be here at MTSU. It was like this campus was a sercret admirer waiting to woo me. It looked rough around the edges but after a while the true beauty showed it's glory of beautiful people. Two days ago I was walking on campus during the day, which only happens Tuesdays and Thursdays due to my internship in Nashville three times a week. It seemed like every where I turned I ran into someone I knew. One time in the library every corner I would turn I would see someone I knew and talk with them, and then I would end it and then look up and see another person wave. I thought to myself why is this happening, why have I been given this great gift? I realized it truly was a gift, it isn't just a personal attribute or because I was an RA for a year or because I have been here now for two years. It seemed those facts fell flat. God had given me a gift, a gift that I have not even believed he would give. It was wrapped in unassuming wrapping paper of grilled cheese and buildings that I could never find my way out of. It was gifts like banjo players, fall leaves brighter then the sun, old buildings with big windows and words of encouragement that would leave me sobbing. It was a tongue that needs to be controlled and a mouth that needed to be tamed. It was a brain that needed to be filled and voice that needed to be given back. A backpack that needed to be put on and a field to lay my head. A busy day that was filled to the brim but enough strength to do it. It was a roommate that I need to learn from and a best friend to show me how to laugh. It was a family away from home that taught me that I could move mountains when I didn't believe them. It was a deep conversation about love or a ride to the thrift store to have fun. It was all the music I got to hear at all the right moments I needed it most. It was the holy spirit whispering words of destiny and giving me vision for the future. It was hugs and waves and smiles that never were expected only surprised with. It was all the late night phone calls to mom and her telling me that I could make it and to keep going. So as I was wandering around campus tonight I realized one thing, You know when you love something so much you almost want to just melt right into it? I realized I just wanted to be one big puddle on the floor. Gosh I was such a thick wax with no heart when I came here. I didn't actually want Gods plan I wanted my own, sometimes I still want what I want, I know hard to believe. But I realized for the first time, I had surrendered, I had found a home in the desert, I had found a place to rest when I didn't know the outcome. So because of this I celebrate, I almost could have done without the BSW diploma but I guess I will take it for good measure. On to the next surrender, the surrender of the wax to be made into a puddle. 

Graduation Day!